Poetry Collection 1

By Nightsong

Light Found Lacking

A soul cries out in pain

Missing something it has never felt

True love:  far too evasive

Seemingly impossible to find

How can it find this

When it has never known it?

Something is devoid from a life.

Something unexplainable

And possibly indefinable

But it shall be found

Love shall be found

It is forever near

Though the senses say it is far

It shall be found

This is sworn

This is a promise

This is the truth.

 

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A Headache of Colors  

The mind seems forever restless
Impossible to sate
Its thirst for knowledge, romance, compassion
Drive it forever on
Confusion is the rule of the mind
Hope the driving force
Imagination the energy
All bound and of equal importance
Imagining love makes you hopeful
Hopeful for signs that are confused by this hope
Confusion can cause paranoid imagining
All these things are connected, are
Colors beyond imagination.

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Stone Soul

 

Find the words I want to hear

Give me none but ones shown there

Cannot take the stings of life

No more of this strife

 

One must wonder why I care

Why I love this world unfair

But your words cause pain, my brother

As much would any other.

 

Turn from, fade away

Bleached to shadows by the day

Change to chaos in my world

Let life be cursed, unfurled.

 

Serpentís tongue within my heart

Lashing, poisoned; break apart

Spread to stone by darkened gale

Till even love must fail


World to stone black stone

Through my love be left alone

And my soul lets out a moan

Turns to white and crimson bone.

 

Turn my heart to stone black stone

And God is left alone.

 

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Facet Upon Facet

A myriad of feelings surround me

Both grim and joyful

Both kind and malicious

While a few are truly felt

Most are generated by myself

A stare in my direction that seems cruel

A comment that I donít especially like

Oftentimes there is no cruelness in the action

My mind believes there is, and creates phantoms.

Phantoms

Creatures of my imagination

Nothing real about them

Thatís easy to say now

But when the fear, the gripping fear,

Or an insecurity greets me

Simple logic disappears

Leaving me alone as I try to claw my way up the walls

Left with only paranoia to explain my situation

I come to odd conclusions

I worry about foolish things

I carry weight that I have conjured

I feel stress that doesnít exist

The shades of grey fall away

Far away

And I force myself to think in black and white

Two extremes which often donít apply

To the shades of grey that make up all our lives

But I do it anyway

Regardless of my understanding

An awareness that this thinking canít be right

Awareness canít change my nature

Iím not really sure what can.

Pain?  Pleasure?  Love?  Hate?

I have felt them all, but know them not.

Not well enough to determine what it is

What it could be that alters me completely

That rips apart my persona

And leaves me born anew

With new purpose

New ambition

New ideas

Everything re-created

Often in an opposite direction than Iíd expect.

Take today, for instance

Now I am calm and peaceful

No longer a fighter

No longer angry

Merely hurt and hopeful at once

Higher morals are within me

For no sinful woman will I endure

It pains me when lies pass my lips

It hurts me when others suffer

And all Iím able to ask myself is:

Why wasnít I like this before?

What blinded me to the sin

The pure sin that I lived in, even as I claimed to be a Christian?

What madness pervaded my form

That I should be running toward a cliff,

And not even know it?

I can ask the questions all day

And learn nothing but that I am a poor reference

That would be all Iíd learn of myself

If not far less,

Far far less

Until I was even losing knowledge

What little bit I hold

As the phantoms of doubt pulled at me

At my illogical, unknowing, uncalm mind.

All I can know is confusion

And all Iíll ever know is confusion

As long as I search for the answers.

But I shall not stop

For that would be worse than a fruitless search

Far worse.

For at least with the search

The search unending

Iíll have not given up.

 

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