Standard Disclaimer here: None of the characters, places, or specifics herein belong to me. If they did, I'd be off somewhere doing something more productive than writing fanfic. =)

It's been about three weeks now, since then. Three weeks since ... the Tower. Only someone who was there could truly understand the tower. Only someone who had lived in Vector. . . Before ... could know how far he had fallen. Only one who had known him. Only someone who, once, loved him.

Once, long ago, I told Leo that I wanted to know what love was. He must have known, of course, that I did once. That I was in love with a dashing young colonel in the Vectorian military. That, once, I had known happiness - before Kefka's infusion. He knew I loved Kefka, before the onset of his insanity. I'm grateful, really. I couldn't have understood, then, how different he was, before his insanity. Not as I can now.

It's horrible to think, really, that someone you love could take your memories from you, could just ... rip them from your skull. Like Kefka did to me. I'll never be able to describe what it felt like, not if I live till the end of Time itself. It was … a burning, and then blackness; a wall of blackness, against which you beat, knowing exactly what was happening, but being unable to do a thing to stop it. The memories came back, slowly but surely - and I remembered. I remembered what happened back then.

Before his insanity, he was the epitome of everything a soldier could be. Dashing, heroic, handsome - he had all the ladies in Halana falling over him. But, he liked me - liked my spirit, he used to say. Who was I? Who was I to be loved by one of the greatest heroes of our time? He helped me - with my studies, with my weapons, and with my magic. He understood control. Palantan had been the most disciplined man I ever knew. All he wanted to do was to help his city of Vector.

He had no interest in power, or in the throne. If he had cared for the throne, he would have pursued my sister- or rather, my near-sister, for we were both the Emperor’s fosterlings. Everyone knew I was unsuitable to rule, and always would be. I was … too unstable, too special. My powers were uncontrolled, not like those Celes had. After all, my dear near-sister was human. Yet, he did not mind, and to him it did not matter that I would never rule. He loved me. The Kefka I knew even turned down a generalship, because that would force him to have to leave Vector. It would have forced him to leave me.

The later, insane Kefka, was completely different. He bleached his dark brown hair, and dressed like a court jester. He said, "I am, in truth, a fool. Why not act the part?" I was ... afraid of the new Kefka. I'll always wonder if I could have helped him, if I could have helped bring the old Kefka back.

I suppose you know by now that I was the one who killed him. Nobody else could have. Locke was down; his leg was bleeding, bleeding badly. Even magic couldn't heal it - not in the face of Kefka’s power. My sister was protecting Locke, as I knew she would, for she loved him. Had I not been busy keeping myself alive, I would have admired her skill, her devotion ... her understanding of how to use emotion to strengthen her. All the others, all of our allies and friends, had been forced out of the fight, somehow or other. Kefka was the only person left standing ... Kefka and myself.

I recognized the spell Kefka almost cast near the end. I could sense the power behind it. That spell would have destroyed the world - Kefka knew how to use it that way, and so did I.

The spell read: "The end comes, beyond chaos. Let all fools who seek salvation, be denied it. Let,"

No, on second thought, I won't write it down. Maybe someday, after I'm gone, magic will reappear in the world. After all, it is only sleeping, for none alive now could or would call it forth. That is one spell I won't mind seeing vanish forever.

Did you really think anything we could do would kill Goddesses? No, such power is denied us- and I am glad. While such power lived in the world, the children of Mobliz would never be safe- and I have much to thank them for. They nursed me to health, and protected my sanity. They protect it still- I would have long ago chosen death, was I not needed by them.

In the end, it was only Kefka and me. We dueled for a few minutes, and it seemed he was toying with me, as he continued to chant the spell. From nowhere, I sensed a change come over him, and his eyes changed back from black to the dark blue eyes I recognized. Nobody else could see it, except me, and even I couldn't be sure - because in that moment, he made a mistake, and I killed him. I thrust the Atma weapon that my people forged through his heart - and the tower began collapsing, and ... My memories of what happened are a little hazy, from that point on.

Looking back at what I have done, I wish I could have done things differently. I wish I could have helped him deal with his infusion. I almost wish I hadn't betrayed his plans to Leo. I know, however, that I did all I could, in each situation. I couldn't have done any differently - except once.

At the very end, Kefka changed - and I took advantage of it to kill him. Now, I'll never know. Who did I kill? Did I kill the madman who took so many lives - or did I kill Colonel Kefka, who I loved?

Or did I kill both? Oh, all the Gods and Goddesses who exist, have existed, or ever will exist prevent it from being true - did I kill both?