********************
"Yes!"
*BANG*
"I found him!"
*CRUNCH*
"I'm saved!"
*CRASH*
"Y-Y-Y-E-E-E-O-O-O-W-W-W-!!!"
Shuddering, she withdrew her fist from the
hole in the computer screen. Brushing her hair down, she shook off the
effects of hitting one of the few active power conduits on her ship. Good
thing that the main power generator wasn't working right now. She'd gotten
a little carried away there.
*DESTRUCTION OF THIS SHIP IS NOT ADVISED*
She smirked, rubbing her hand. "Yeah, but
it feels good, okay? Besides, I don't need that computer for anything.
Um... or the chair. Or the light, I guess. So... where's the beacon for
Ernest's ship?"
*CANNOT PINPOINT EXACT LOCATION.*
She frowned briefly, but it would take more
than that to dampen her enthusiasm. "Then print me out a map of the area.
Identify on it anything unusual. Especially cities."
*PROCESSING. WARNING. EMERGENCY BATTERY AT
25% OF CAPACITY.*
"What?! You said there was still three hours
left..." she trailed off slowly. Using the sensors had no doubt dealt a
death blow to the ship's meager power supply. This sensor sweep would probably
finish them off. She was going to have to get ready to leave. "Then get
working on it," she ordered, leaving the cockpit.
She didn't have much food to speak of on board,
and most of it would spoil quickly without refrigeration. Stupid instant
dinners. Someday, she was going to have to learn how to make food without
a microwave oven.
She ate two of the dinners cold, not wanting
to tax the power any more than she had to. The ration bars that she normally
carried with her was absent, since she hadn't bothered to replenish them
on her last stop. Much of the food was already beginning to smell funny,
and the rest had been destroyed beyond edibility by the crash. But...
Some digging produced an intact six-pack of
beer. And another one. And yet another. Energy, liquids and a few semi-essential
vitamins! And a mildly pleasant buzz after the fifth straight bottle. Aside
from the fact that they were warm, she supposed she could have done worse.
She now had eighteen bottles, all intact and sealed.
"Meryti lager," she muttered with a smirk.
"Gotta love them bottles. Don't break for nothing. I wonder if I could
get on a
commercial for this..."
Stowing them in her pouch, she rummaged through
the rest of the food for anything else she could take with her. All that
made itself known was a couple of chocolate bars, two somewhat flatter
than they had been originally. But chocolate was chocolate. Eating
the two disfigured ones, she added the rest to her pack. Things were looking
good. Five chocolate bars and eighteen bottles of beer. She could survive
for some time on that, surely.
*SENSOR SWEEP COMPLETED*
Heading back to the cockpit, she accepted
the printout, looking over the results with some disdain. There were two,
perhaps three areas that appeared to be settlements within sensor range.
Awfully small, though. One of them was within a few hours walking distance,
which was good. She would have to make due with what she knew.
"What's the environment like?" she inquired.
"Any problems for me?"
*WITHIN TETRAGENE TOLERANCES. GRAVITY IS 58%
OF TETRAGENE NORM. OXYGEN CONTENT 4.6% HIGHER THAN TETRAGENE NORM. NO DETECTABLE
ARTIFICIAL IMPURITIES IN ATMOSPHERE. ULTRAVIOLET EXPOSURE WITHIN TOLERANCES.
HERALDIC RESIDUE EXTREMELY HIGH, BUT NOT THREATENING. PLANETARY ROTATION
ESTIMATED AT 25 HOURS, 34 MINUTES, 3 SECONDS. NO ANTICIPATED PROBLEMS.*
She smiled. If she'd had to crash on a primitive
planet, she'd found the right one. With the lack of gravity, her
effective strength would be vastly magnified. The higher oxygen content
would only help her to maintain endurance. The lack of impurities was to
be expected from any underdeveloped civilization that hadn't learned how
to pollute yet. The low UV exposure suggested that they hadn't learned
to destroy their ozone layer yet. She'd get a deep tan at the worst. And
the length of day was only a fraction of that on her home planet, which
meant she could quite possibly get away with only sleeping every other
day or so.
But she couldn't forget the most important
preparation. A hard stomp on the floor caused a panel to spring up, revealing
an
impressive assortment of weapons, ranging from pocket blasters, energy
crossbows, stun grenades, assault guns, rocket launchers, and...
Chuckling to herself, she reached down and
hefted one of the weapons.
"Kaleidoscope field rifle," she whispered
lovingly, shifting her weight slightly to accommodate the massive weapon.
It was as long as she was tall, the official weight listed at 29.7 kilograms.
Over half her body weight. But with the lighter gravity...
Rapidly swiveling the barrel around, she laughed.
It wasn't often she got a chance to use this weapon. It was somewhat
experimental, at least it had been when developed. Although it could
be wired up to alternate energy sources in a pinch, it
obtained its energy primarily through a built in collector that absorbed
heraldic residue, which made its use impractical in many
instances. But on a planet like this...
*WARNING*
She reluctantly pulled her eyes away from
her weapon. "What?"
*MULTIPLE LIFE FORMS APPROACHING.*
She set the weapon down again. No sense in
letting them see her with weapons right now. Ernest had long stressed the
importance of good first impressions. "Great. Time to meet the locals."
Peeking out the hatch, she looked around expectantly.
A growl made her freeze. Slowly turning to
face the source, she found herself looking at a huge pile of fur. Tilting
her head back, she found herself looking at a matching huge hairy face,
complete with a huge mouth and huge over-sized fangs.
"Shit, you are one ugly bugger," she
greeted.
It roared, drawing back one arm in preparation
to attack.
"Now don't take it personally..."
She threw herself backwards as the huge fist
left a dent in the side of her ship. "Heyheyheywaitaminute!" she protested
quickly. "I didn't mean it! You're a stud! You look great! I come in peace!"
More roaring ensued as the creature tried
to squeeze its massive form through the doorway.
"You're not fitting through there," she pointed
out. "Now let's talk this over, okay? We got off to a bad start, but it's
never too late to start again, right?"
More roaring. A quiet groaning reverberated
through the ship as the sides of the door began to buckle outwards.
Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Whoa! You're
a strong sonuvabitch! Back off NOW!!! Hey! Computer!"
*WORKING*
"What the hell is this thing? Can you recognize
the language?"
*PROBABILITY OF INTELLIGENCE: 0.1%*
She flushed. "Oh. You mean, this thing isn't
the intelligence on this planet?"
*CORRECT*
"Oh, well that solves this problem.
Looks like it's hunting season."
Grabbing an automatic rifle from the weapons
storage, she tapped the safety off, took aim and let off an ear-splitting
stream of armor-piercing shots into the creature's head.
The impacts sent the creature flying off the
ship, landing in a disfigured heap on the ground below, clearly dead and
then some.
"Teach you to screw with me," she muttered,
flipping the safety back on and replacing the rifle in the weapon's compartment.
"Any more of those things around?" she asked the computer.
*AFFIRmati...*
She blinked as the voice trailed off. "What's
wrong?"
No answer.
"Computer? Hello?"
Still no answer.
She sighed. So the battery was finally dead.
The ship shuddered again, making her focus
on the present reality. The computer had said that there were multiple
life forms approaching the ship. She'd probably just mowed down the first
of them. Now she had to deal with the rest of them. Not that she was going
to have much difficulty doing that.
Hefting the Kaleidoscope rifle, she adjusted
the strap to the proper length, then flipped the switch to activate the
unit. The small screen atop the stock lit up, informing her of the status of
the unit. More specifically, it told her that this planet had such a high
amount of Heraldic residue, the weapon would probably never run out of
power, and if it did, it would recharge fully in a matter of hours.
The ship shuddered again, another furry face
trying to force its way through the doorway.
She gave a slightly sadistic grin to the creature
that was trying to try open the doorway wide enough to let the rest of
its body in. "I hear fur coats are popular these days."
A growl.
She waved off-handedly. "Nothing personal,
right?"
A screech of thunder, and the entire top half
of the creature ceased to exist.
"And only 50% power! Sweet!"
Following a few more well-placed blasts that
served to vaporize or scare off the surviving creatures, she decided that
she had better get moving. Slinging the Kaleidoscope rifle over her right
shoulder, her survival pack over her left, she started away from the ship
in the direction her map suggested.
"After all," she muttered, "stupid Ernest
came all the way out here without you. He's just as likely to leave
here without you too."
Despite her less-than-pleased tone of voice,
a lone photo tucked carefully in her survival pack suggested otherwise.
*****************
The trek through the forest was monotonous
at best. Despite the rather impressive piece of artillery she was
presently hauling, the comparatively light gravity made the task much less
of a strain. Even the survival pack, complete with eighteen bottles of
beer, an automatic handgun, and four clips of ammunition was only a small
additional burden. The sensor equipped head unit that she always wore on
expeditions was present as well, although the crash seemed to have rendered
it inoperative. She would see if she couldn't effect some repairs on it
at another time. At least it still worked to keep her hair out of her face.
Really, the worst part of traveling was her clothing.
Considering that she was chasing her boyfriend
halfway across the galaxy, being stranded on a planet was one of the few
things she hadn't planning on dealing with. What she had planned
on dealing with was convincing him to briefly abandon the trip, go back
home, equip properly, then finish the trip with her. Accordingly, she had
dressed for the part. A high-slit black gown, low-cut black blouse, stiletto
heels and an olive-green bulletproof jacket. Very fetching, VERY sexy,
but just not meant for long distance traveling. And all her other clothing
had managed to catch fire during the crash.
And shit, was it EVER hot out...
The overhead sun was beating down mercilessly,
making her glad she wasn't wearing make-up or mascara. It probably would
have melted long ago. The lack of breeze in the thick forest did little
to help matters.
If she ran into Ernest out here, he'd probably
fall in love if he saw her. Fall in lust, certainly. Opening the jacket,
undoing a few buttons on her blouse and unfastening the hooks that kept
her gown closed had been all she could do to try and alleviate the heat.
Anything more would probably overstep the bounds of any culture's decency,
and she did NOT want to run into the locals looking like that. This really
sucked.
It reminded her of a safari she'd been on
once, on another planet. Just yourself, your gun, and a lot of big animals
who would just as soon eat you for their next meal. Exhilarating, really.
Although the safari's generally arranged for more appropriate footwear,
and smaller, less interesting guns.
She sighed, pulling out the first bottle of
beer from her pack. It wouldn't do to get dehydrated.
************************
She didn't know how much time passed, aside
from the fact that it had involved the consumption of two more bottles
of beer. But eventually, she found something worth noting.
That it was one of the giant hairy creatures
that had taken a disliking to her was nothing new. She'd blasted at least
a dozen of them into organic purée already. They never seemed to
learn, although they did help pass the time.
What make this giant hairy creature unusual
was the fact that it was already dead. And she knew she hadn't killed it.
Looking around carefully for any other of its kin, she cautiously approached
it. No disturbances around the corpse, which suggested that she wasn't
looking at a trap set by the locals. It was most certainly dead, a fact
attested to by three sizable holes its body. None of them were particularly
well-placed, but the combination had been enough to dispatch the creature.
What made the holes worth noting was that
they were clearly inflicted by an energy weapon of some sort. Shoddy
marksmanship, but most certainly a energy weapon. And according to
the computer, there shouldn't be anything like that on this planet...
Ernest. It had to be. No one else on
this planet, aside from herself, would be packing such a weapon on them.
He might be closer than she'd originally thought.
One more bottle of beer later, she finally
saw signs of civilization. The term was rather generous, but she knew that
bridges weren't a natural phenomenon. Especially not ones with "A+R
- Friends Forever" engraved on the side. Beyond the wooden bridge, an encampment
was visible, complete with a windmill and a large arrangement of buildings.
Civilization. Or at least, what little this
planet had to offer.
The inhabitants seemed humanoid enough in
appearance. Two arms, two legs, one head. The incredulous stares she received
upon entering the village were easy to ignore at first. Then they began
to get a little annoying. It was when a few of the children stopped playing
at their game to gawk at her that she finally lost her temper.
"What the HELL is your problem?" she snapped
at them.
The children fled into a nearby building.
She scowled, continuing her way through the
village. "Geez. You'd think this was some backwoods joint that never got
visitors."
A young man leaning against the fence was
too slow to escape. Despite her rather petite frame, she was long a master
in the art of acting dangerous. She'd learned it shortly after learning
the art of being dangerous.
"Hey you!" she growled, cornering him.
"W-what?"
For a brief moment, she hesitated. Asking
for the location of the nearest supply and repair depot would be pointless.
As would asking about energy weapons, more than likely. "Where the hell
is this?" she finally demanded.
"Uh... Arlia?"
"Don't you know?"
"Arlia!" he repeated, sounding more convinced.
"I'm looking for a guy named Ernest? You seen
him around?"
The man shook his head vigorously.
"He didn't swear you to secrecy, did he? Because
I'm a friend of his. Are you sure you didn't see him?"
More head-shaking.
"Can I help you?"
The voice caught her by surprise. Spinning
around she came face to face with an elderly man. At least, she thought
he was
elderly. His lack of top hair and an abundance of facial hair was consistent
with most cultural norms among the elderly.
"I'm looking for someone," she informed him,
ignoring the still cowering man behind her.
The elderly man raised an eyebrow as he took
in her appearance, but unlike the others, contained himself. "I see... would you be amicable to coming to my house for something to drink?
You have obviously traveled far. And it is a hot day out today. We can talk there."
She blinked a few times, prompting a restrained
gasp from the elder and several onlookers. "Uh... sure. Lead the way."
It seemed that this civilization wasn't entirely hostile. Maybe they were
all just in awe of her gun. It was a sweet piece of firepower...
"This way," the man invited, pointing towards
one of the buildings. It was notable larger than the others. It was possible
that this man had some influence in the locale.
Both were silent until inside the building.
Taking a seat, she allowed the man to give
her a glass of water in a cup. The water had a slight edge that suggested
a high mineral content, but she drained it in one gulp nonetheless. Refreshing,
to understate the case.
"Goodness," the man observed. "You certainly
are thirsty."
"You try hiking in high heels for who knows
how long with nothing to warm beer to drink," she retorted. "You'd be pretty
damn thirsty yourself!"
For an answer, the man produced a second glass
of water for her. "Then by all means," he invited. "You may call me Arvis.
I'm the elder in Arlia village."
She nodded approvingly as she drained the
second glass of water. "Opera."
He raised an eyebrow. "Your voice would
suggest you to be a singer-"
She rolled her eyes, prompting a swallow from
Arvis. "No, no, my name is Opera. Opera Vectra. I only sing for fun or
when I'm drunk."
"I see..."
Producing a third glass of water for her,
he took a deep breath. "May I ask you something?"
She drained this glass as well. "Shoot."
"How in the world did you come to have THREE
eyes?!?"
*********************
To Chapter 2