This is chapters one through three, exemplifying what NEVER to make
a fanfic. I made this to spite someone else who put a bunch of,
"NO-NO's OF FANFICTION" up on a messageboard, directly in my view....
Now, I wasn't intentionally spiting him... But I wanted to write
something that day. The chapters progress in terms of things people
said after that to add to the original "NO-NO's OF FANFICTION" point.
It goes in order...
Chapter 1 : Being descriptive, and having a
wide base of descripting words.
Chapter 2 : Not being repetitive, and avoiding the
overuse of the word, "because".
Chapter 3 : All of the above, PLUS, the evils
of author self-insertion.
Tifa and cloud were talking one day. "Hey Tifa?" Cloud said. "Yeah Cloud?" Tifa said. "Wanna go to the movies?" Cloud said. "Yeah!" Tifa said, "I'd like that!" she said again. Tifa and Cloud went to the movies. "And so I stole his baby! And I ate it!" The comedian on the movie-screen said. "LOL!" said Cloud Tifa also said, "LOL!" Cloud put his arm around Tifa, and Tifa leaned into Cloud, and they snuggled. "And so then he was like all, 'THAT WAS MY BABY! YOU ATE IT!'" The comedian on the movie-screen said. Cloud and Tifa laughed. The movie got over. And Cloud and Tifa went home. "Hey Tifa?" Cloud said. "Yeah?" Tifa said. "How bout a little kiss?" Cloud said. "Nah." Tifa said. TO BE CONTINUED! -----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, because Tifa wanted to have fun and because Cloud wanted to
have fun too, Tifa and Cloud both went to the circus to have fun
because it's fun at the circus.
"Hey Cloud?" Tifa said because she was talking to Cloud.
"yeah Tifa?" Cloud said because he was talking to Tifa.
"Lets go find the clowns because they are funny" Tifa said because
clowns are funny and because she was talking to Cloud.
"Okay" Cloud said, because he agreed that clowns are funny, because
they are.
"Yayayayayay!" Tifa said because she was happy because clowns are funny
because they are.
So Tifa and Cloud found the clowns, because they are funny and because
Tifa liked clowns because she thought they were funny. Then one clown
bit Cloud.
Cloud said "Owwch! You bit me because youre a clown and because I taste
good!"
"No" said the clown. The clown said "I bit you because I wanted to bite
you because you're stupid."
"Whoa" Tifa said with her big mouth, "Don't bite my Cloudy because
thats my job because we're boyfriend and girlfriend because I love
Cloud and am going to give him a BJ later." her big mouth moved bigly,
mouthing each big word with her mouth in a big way, because she had a
big mouth because she wanted to give Cloud a BJ because she loved him
because thats what boyfriends and girlfriends do for each other.
"REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!111" Cloud said because he was going to get a
BJ because Tifa loved him because she was going to give him a BJ.
"Yeah" Tifa said with her big mouth, "I love you Cloud" Tifa said too
because she loved Cloud because she wanted to give him a BJ.
"Hey Tifa?" Cloud said to Tifa because thats who he was talking to
because he didn't wanna talk to the clown because he didn't like the
clown anymore because the clown bit him.
"Yeah Cloud?" Tifa said with her big mouth, because she loved him
because she was going to give him a BJ later because she loved him.
Cloud said because he wanted to, "Can I get a kiss?" he said because he
wanted to.
"Nah." Tifa said with her big mouth because she loved him because she
was going to give him a BJ because she loved him because thats what
boyfriends and girlfriends do because she loved him with her big mouth
mouthing every word bigly because she was going to give him a BJ later
because she felt like it.
TO BE CONTINUED!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, Cloud and Tifa were sitting around in their house because they were bored. Cloud said "Hey Tifa, wanna do something?" said Cloud because he was bored and because so was Tifa. Tifa's big mouth opened bigly and the words came out in a big way, with a big wave of big sound, Tifa's big mouth mouthed the words "Nah" "Knock knock" said the door because the door talked Cloud said "Who is that?" because he didnt know who was at the door. "Flux" Flux said his booming voice booming boomingly. "YAYAYAYAYAYA!11" Said Tifa, she started to fix her hair because it was all knotted because she hadnt brushed it yet because she had been up all night giving Cloud BJs because her shirt had all sorts of stains on it because of cloud's love-butter getting all over her because she loved cloud and because Girlfriends give boyfriends BJ's. Flux always made her horny when he came by because he hadnt come by before because he hadn't inserted himself in a fanfic before because he knows its stupid because people keep telling him it is and because he's so damn sexy because he's cool and because he can beat people up because she wants to give him a BJ because she wants to be his girlfriend so he can be her boyfriend so she can give him a BJ. Cloud got jealous because Flux was so damn sexy. "Go away Flux, nobody likes you" because Flux was so damn sexy. "CLOUD I HATE YOU!" said Tifa with her big mouth because cloud is stupid because Flux is so sexy. Tifa opened the door and opened her big mouth and said "Hi Yuffie" because Yuffie was with Flux because Flux was dating Yuffie because she was so cute. "Hiya!" Said Yuffie. "You're cute!" Flux said to Yuffie with his booming voice. "I know!" said Yuffie. "Grr." Tifa said angrily because she wanted to give Flux a BJ because he was so sexy because Tifa wanted Flux to be her boyfriend so she could give him a BJ. "Im cute!" said Yuffie. "I know!" said Flux booming. "UR SUX FLUX" cloud said because he wanted to fight Flux because he wanted more BJ's from Tifa because he and her were boyfriend and girlfriend because boyfriends and girlfriends get BJ's from each other. "NO!" said tifa "I LOVE FLUX 2!" said Tifa also becuase she loved flux too because she wanted to give Flux a BJ. "Sorry..." Flux said "Yuffie is cute!" boomingly "I know!" Yuffie said. "Well... we gotta go now." Flux said booming boom with his boom voice because boom voice boomed. "I'm cute!" said Yuffie "I know!" said Flux boom. "Your stupid" said cloud because cloud was gay because he didnt like Flux because Tifa wanted to give him a BJ. Flux and Yuffie left. "Hey Tifa?" Cloud said "Yeah Cloud?" Tifa said "Can I get a little kiss?" said Cloud "Nah." said Tifa. THE END! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW you know how to write a fanfic, and dont let NOBODY tell you otherwise. Send any miracle stories on the major writing improvement you have beheld at the knowledgeable altar of Flux, to Flux (me), at FU12347731@aol.com, I'd love to hear your stories!
.